Dear anon, your silence scares me. I beg you to talk to any of us. We would all love to talk. It may help more than you know, you could at least try and if not there is always tomorrow right? I mean, you've lived this long, why not just another hour or day. You can always make your decision tomorrow, but right now please just talk to us. We want to help, just give us a chance. The worst that happens is we waste your time. You won't regret it, please.