With a situation such as this, I would usually construct a long-winded ramble covering the hundreds of reasons why you shouldn’t look at yourself this way. Fortunately, I don’t need to, because it’s very simple indeed - 

Firstly, you were crafted in the image of God which, well let’s face it, you can’t get more beautiful than that can you? Add to that the fact that nobody else is the exact same construction of beautiful as you are. I love that thought!

As for being ‘normal’ looking without clothes, what is normal? What society tells us are the measurements, features and lifestyle we should aim for? Well if that is the case, I was always doomed by my short height to be abnormal, but aside from sometimes struggling to reach top shelves (without climbing anyway, but who doesn’t love climbing on stuff?), so I say society and its misaligned, unwelcome, unrealistic and unhelpful ideals can, quite frankly,

go take a running jump.

Secondly, your past actions do not alter your beauty, much the same as changing hair colour or getting a spray tan. They might adjust others perception of how externally attractive you are, but that core beauty never changes; it is far more powerful, and when recognised not only by him but by you first and foremost, it will shine from you as a package of beauty, inside and out…and it is that beauty which will draw in your future spouse. So do not fear that he will think you “have a lovely heart but the scars ruin it”, because his recognition of you as a whole being will make everything an equal level of loveliness. What your scars serve as is a testimony of where you have been and where God has brought you, and any prospective husband with the right mindset would be more concerned with that journey than any lingering physical reminders of it.

Thirdly, I would agree that many men seek the ‘catalogue model’ wife that so many woman spend years trying to embody, and this is a battle for many Christian men, as it can be all too easy for our baser human instinct to allow an attraction to the physical to overwhelm our acknowledgement and appreciation of everything else that makes up a woman.

That said, let’s not cling to stereotype and remember that women have this struggle just as much, because it definitely happens for both parties.

Fourthly and finally, my advice to you - Embrace your imperfection. Continue, with prayer and Gods guidance, to learn to love what it is that makes you you; the scars, weight, height, face and everything in-between . As this is going on, ask the Lord to help shift your focus from anything future husband-related, or anything future at all for that matter because God has it sorted - 

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” - Matthew 6:34 (NIV)

You are still young with many moons ahead of you, and God is going to do amazing things within you and through you and your testimony alike - all of that romance stuff will happen in its own good season, but there is no need to dwell on it or begin to run through scenarios until it actually happens!

I hope that some, if any, of what I have said helps in the slightest and if it doesn’t feel free to contact me and we can talk some more. I shall certainly be praying for your situation, and want to repeat the point I have already made:

There is always hope,

for there is always God.

Bless you my friend. :)